From the moment I was born, forty-six years ago in the great state of Arizona, I have carried the weight of what feels like to be marginalized, an outcast, different, destined never to fit in. I understand the struggle, and my opinion on this matter is not from what I have read or heard or molded by a childhood that chiseled my belief system. My view on this matter is from the trenches of war and as a parent to 3 amazing children.
We are on the precipice of a great tragedy that will be solidified and recorded in our history to the amazement of the future generations. We have two choices, but only one outcome. If we choose incorrectly, devastation, if we choose correctly, understanding and the human spirit can be allowed to grow more accepting and loving.
Forty-two of my years, I lived as a lesbian, and the exhaustion of being gay can wear on the strongest among us. Four of these years, I have lived transitioning from female to male, a transgender person, and the hot button that has become a reality for news to induce shock and awe among the readers to sell papers and advertising that goes along with these electric conversations.
In the last five to ten years, these conversations, debates, and passionate stances on both sides have made us blind to the reality of what it's like to transition. While we have been conducting these mudslinging wars, we have forgotten our children. Our children have been involuntarily enlisted to serve in this war as the front line. This battle has drawn millions of gallons of blood that are children have given.
As I read the articles, I see a trend and the trend is frightening, the logic on both sides can be comical, well it could be amusing if the ending wasn't so bloody. I hear from the radical left, which usually is a defiant man that has transitioned to a woman and the ridiculousness of the chant, "We are woman, we are women." Even though biologically, that is impossible, people are believing them as crazy as it is people are starting to think the MTF transgender people are getting a monthly period.
On the right, we have radical Christians, the religion of love ripping to pieces the LGBT community without any understanding, just judgment and a pitbull grip on a philosophy that has absolutely no evidence in what they believe other than, "I can feel it." Just as ridiculous and just as dangerous. If you combine these two stances, you have one commonality, and that is absolute craziness. Neither side is doing anything, and our kids are the bloody sacrifice.
While this craziness has been taking place, evil has been rearing its head in the pharmaceutical company's board rooms, surgeon's offices, therapist's marketing plans, and physician's business models. This evil is targeting our children, and our children are the new cash cow. The never-ending ridiculous debate has protected this cash cow and has a tally of victims under the age of 18, and the list is on rapid growth.
I have endured a life judged, and I will say that it's much easier to keep my opinions to myself and allow children to suffer, justifying it by telling myself, "It's the parent's fault," let them deal with the repercussions. But that is not the right thing to do, it might be the easy thing to do, but it's not right.
Here is the truth. Transitioning is brutal on the mind, body, and soul, and transitioning children is child abuse of the highest form.
Here is why:
Transitioning a body is a physiological war. When I began testosterone, the way I processed ideas changed. The belief I had about men and women not being that different was shattered. My need to talk about everything little feeling stopped. My fuse became extended, and reaction time-stretched. Things that I was OK with, were no longer OK. People in my life did not understand, and it was like entering a new family and getting rid of old friends to find new ones. The reality was that everyone was the same; it was me that was changed. This was difficult for me to figure out at 41. I cannot imagine a child trying to navigate this; I would go so far as to say it's cruel to ask children to try and figure this out.
My understanding and compassion for my wife wanting to talk about every little thing became exhausting, and I started to believe that she should know what I want and how I was feeling. I started conversations in my head,
"Lynette knows what I want, why do I have to say anything. She knows how I feel and what I am dealing with."
Since the beginning of time, we have had this banter between men and women, some claiming a substantial difference, and some saying the difference is not that significant. What I can tell you is from experience is that the estrogen hormone and testosterone hormone are vastly different and you can take one soul that is gender-free and inject a hormone, and you get one person, but if you take the same soul and inject estrogen, you get an entirely different person. It’s a wild experience and indeed not an experience for a child.
In my personal experience, the body is a shell, and XX chromosome and XY chromosome produce a hormone that builds the body to be either female or male. But what the body runs off, testosterone, or estrogen makes the mind female or male. Changing these hormones in the middle of life upsets the balance, and we do not understand what this does, we are in the experimental stages.
At the time when I was transitioning my body from an estrogen-driven body to a testosterone-driven body, this was all confusing to me; I did not understand what was happening. Asking children to process this is wrong; they cannot understand this. A Psychologist does not understand this; no one understands this unless you have transitioned. We have not been transitioning long enough and analyzed and researched the process enough to understand what this does on the psyche long term and how to gently transition a child that has not developed a mature brain.
We do not have the data on what happens when a body changes the sex hormone. We are essentially creating two new genders — biological females with testosterone-driven bodies and biological males with estrogen-driven bodies. Not enough people and not enough time have gone by for scientists to conduct studies and what the ramifications of transitioning are. We have become a society that is afraid to speak out against marginalized people. We have over-corrected the problem of not accepting and now accept too much without justification.
Transitioning a body with surgery is…God, I have a hard time with this one, I really do. If people understood the trauma, they are putting their kids through, if people really understood this, WOW, things would be different. I have spoken to several transgender people, and an unspoken problem is PTSD. Before all of this, I thought PTSD was a joke; it is not. The pain, the amount of surgery, the lack of information on the outcome, the glossed over, "It'll be great, no big deal," does something to you. Every person that I have spoken is diagnosed with PTSD. Every single one, not a couple, every person, every transgender person I know in detail, has been diagnosed with PTSD.
The reality of transitioning and the actuality are so far apart that you are not mentally prepared. Imagine you enlisted in a war, and you go to boot camp, and the talk is tough, and war is glamorized, and the solders are imagining becoming heroes. Then, boom, you are in the middle of battle carrying your friends severed hand and putting it in your pocket because his head was blown off, and you knew he was a writer, and you want to save his hand so he could continue to write. Crazy shit, right, your reality is skewed with traumatic events. The parallel is dramatic, and I made it that way for a purpose, transitioning is dramatic.
With all of this said, I do firmly believe that some people need to transition, I do. The exact numbers are not enough for a cash cow, so they are going after your kids. Super horrible, I know, but it's the truth.
To conclude, I ask that you do something for me before making a judgment on children transitioning. After you finish reading this, find a corner to be and think. Close your eyes and imagine your life when you were 10, 11, 12, or 13. Search back and remember what you enjoyed, the smell of your childhood home. Who did you want to be? What were your dreams? Who did you have a crush on? What did you believe about your future? What kind of person or life did you envision for yourself?
Then open your eyes and analyze your life now. Did anything change? If everything that you envisioned as a child mirrors your current life, then I say, pick up your kids, shoot them up with hormones and surgery....Go for it and I'm crazy as hell. I have been called worse.
But, if who you are now is different than who you were at those ages you have to know that making a decision for your child about gender, becoming sterile for life, having to inject medication for life, shortening their life span and subjecting them to an incredibly high possibility of suffering from PTSD is wrong.
If you have a transgender identifying child, pick them up and hold them, cry with them, listen to them, love them, align with them, let them wear whatever clothes they want, buy them whatever toys they want. But, for god sakes, protect them from this. Help them embrace the modern wonders of the medical field and make it a coming into an adult decision and celebrate when they can start transitioning, when they are an adult.
Parents, you don't want this on your soul; I guarantee that.